Enough
I think that ever more often, we’re searching for the most significant elements that we think will bring meaning and fulfillment to our lives. We all seem to spend a lifetime searching for happiness, contentment, and love. We look for these elements in our relationships, in our jobs, in our possessions, and in our achievements. And we always look for them somewhere out there, in the future…instead of right here, in this moment.
Over the years while helping people, I have realized that if you feel like that you aren’t enough or that you don’t have enough, then you’ll try to find a way to compensate for it.
I spent the better part of my adult life trying to be, look, and feel significant. When I founded Discovery Church in Orlando several decades ago, I thought it was all about God. I thought it was all about my desire to please God and help God. I thought it was all about my desire to help other people. And guess what? It was about that. But it was also about something else. It was about the fact that I never felt like I was enough…and that I needed to prove to myself and others that I was significant. I spent several decades helping to build a very large church that impacted multitudes of people, but underneath much of the goodness of that, I was trying to self-manufacture something else: an identity of significance.
The manufacturing process involved with that eventually brought me to an embarrassing level of exhaustion that contributed to my making the worst decision of my life—until I woke up in a way I never had.
I recently read that Anne Hathaway, a well-known actress, was being interviewed about what it felt like to win the Academy Award for Best Actress several years ago for her role in the movie Les Misérables. She described how she had spent her whole life working hard, clawing hard to get to that stage. Only once she got there, what she was looking for wasn’t there. It was a low moment of her life. It ended up not being enough of the experience she thought she needed.
You need to know that true significance comes from within. It is actually a gift that’s already been given, is extremely fulfilling, and lasts forever. False significance comes from without. It is something that we try to manufacture…create…on our own. It is extremely dissatisfying, lasts for a brief period of time, and will never be enough.
The following are three primary areas in which we all struggle with “enoughness.”
1. Shame: “I’m not enough.”
Every time we compare ourselves to anyone else, we end up either exaggerating who we are or diminishing who we are…and it will never be enough. There is nothing wrong with approval except when we are using it or tempted to use it to cover our engine of shame. What has helped transform me is the reality that I’m lavishly loved just as I am.
1. Fear: “I don’t have enough.”
How many times a day do you think, “I don’t have enough of something I really need?” The primary temptation regarding fear is assets. Whenever we operate out of fear, we manifest it by needing more assets, such as these four F’s:
- I need more finances.
- I need more food.
- I need more friends.
- I need more fun.
Yet each time we get more, we discover that we can never get enough. There is nothing wrong with assets like those just listed, except when we are using them or tempted to use them to cover our engine of fear.
What has helped transform me is the reality that I have a sufficient supply of everything I need, for this day.
2. Guilt: “I haven’t done enough.”
Something I have personally experienced and that we hear all the time is people feeling like they haven’t lived up to their full potential. Who establishes the mark we need to reach?
It’s a funny thing, the concept of “potential.” When we reach what was the last notch of our fullest potential, the mark mysteriously moves, and we must reach for a whole new level.
Throughout most of my life, I’ve felt the tug of that imaginary stat sheet in the sky that would show I had done enough.
The primary temptation regarding guilt is achievement. Whenever we operate out of guilt, we manifest it by needing more achievement. There is nothing wrong with achievements, but when they’re used to cover the
engine of guilt, they will never be enough!
What has helped transform me is the reality that I have a unique and meaningful purpose
for my life that I’m contributing to this day.
When was the last time you thought, said, or felt the following?
- “I’m not enough…I need more.”
- “I don’t have enough…I need more.”
- “I haven’t done enough…I need more.”
The reality of our lives is that we actually don’t need more to be OK. We already have enough, if
we just take the time to experience what we have
this day—that is enough.
