Authentic
“To be authentic, we must cultivate the courage to be imperfect — and vulnerable. We have to believe that we are fundamentally worthy of love and acceptance, just as we are. I’ve learned that there is no better way to invite more grace, gratitude, and joy into our lives than by mindfully practicing authenticity.”
– Brené Brown
/ôˈTHen(t)ik/
Adjective
1.
Of undisputed origin; genuine
2.
Music (of a church mode) Comprising the notes lying between the principal note or final and the note an octave higher
Early in my adult life, I was given a painting that no one else in my family claimed. It was done in oil, mostly primary colors, and it depicted a Florida mangrove swamp at sunset. Honestly, it was pretty ugly.
Out of duty, I hung it in my home for a year or two. Then, when I thought others wouldn’t notice, I promptly moved it to the basement, where it remained, house to house, move to move. Each time we’d move, I’d unpack it
Authentic
au·then·tic
10
WOW Factor
and leave it in the basement. After the last move, I never even unwrapped it.
Fast-forward eighteen years. My neighborhood was having a yard sale,
and I decided to unload some “stuff.” So I put the picture out there with a $5
tag on it. All was well until I noticed that someone had picked it up and was
examining it with a jeweler’s loop, paying particular attention to the signature.
Fortunately for me, the buyer passed on the purchase, but I retrieved the
painting and began an online search about the artist. Long story short, it was
painted by someone who had quite a following, the only female in a group
called “The Florida Highwaymen.” I recently sold it at auction for several
thousand dollars. Who knew? Judging by what I saw, there was no value in
the painting.
How can we lean in and learn from this example? Being true to oneself
has become increasingly difficult to do. When I think about the word authentic,
I am reminded that being an original, showing value through who I
am and how I live, does not always fare well in a society of conformity. The
world is watching, looking through that jeweler’s loop. Conformity causes
each of us—young and old, business leaders and homemakers—to settle for
things that define us that are not true to who we are.
If we unpack this, it’s pretty compelling. Each one of us is designed for our
own measure of greatness; each one of us has a sphere of influence and the opportunity
to live a life of dynamic impact. Maybe you have been lucky enough
to move into a role where you can set a vision and navigate your life based on
how you chart the course. We all imagine our lives will be like that, and we
all have great aspirations be dynamic forces of change and people of value.
How do you know that’s true? Read the aspirations of your classmates from
your high school yearbook. Most everyone intended to be a world-changer.
It’s hard to get to that place as life throws curve balls at us and we find ourselves
trying to fit, restrained by the mandate to conform. Our value can be
lost as we strive to “fit in” and “not make waves.” The truth is, the world is
looking at us through a jeweler’s loop, looking for something that is real. We
shy away from the loop, feeling vulnerable and concerned that our flaws will
be magnified for all to see, so we hide behind the safe wall of conformity.
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Authentic
Maybe it’s time to reunite with the authentic world-changer who faces you in the mirror each morning. You can begin this process by doing the following:
1.
Start your day with a pledge to be the honest version of yourself, and earnestly commit to that. Compromise is a way of life, but striving to be authentic will help recenter you each day.
2.
Determine each day that you will be fully present, in the moment, and comfortable in your own skin. We miss critical, in-the-moment interactions when our sights are set on what’s next.
3.
Genuinely strive to impact others with kindness and openness. When you are real and open, others are drawn in and charged to change.
You won’t get this exercise down overnight; it takes time and determination. You will fail; the world will try to keep you on the side with the crowd vote. But if you practice this, you will gain ground each day by being authentic, true to yourself, and real. You’ll like yourself a lot. And really, you’re going to make people smile when they see you coming or when they see you going. The choice is yours. Take the risk, and stay true to who you are. In doing so, remember that we all struggle with the same need for acceptance.
Here are three A’s to work on every day:
- Affiliate with others who are honest and fearless; it’s galvanizing.
- Assess each life encounter, and decide how to use your “real” voice to add value.
- Act. Start today.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
– Oscar Wilde
Authentic is written by Donna Bosmeny